Pain Ache Hai

Culture Maketh A Destiny

There is a common line, “Character Maketh A Destiny”. I take the line to mean that there are 1000 small and big decisions we make each day. And we make these decisions based on the “subjective” ideas in our heads. These decisions, inch by inch, bring us closer to our unfolding destiny. If we had different “subjective” ideas, we would have a different “destiny”.

The line emphasizes the importance of the “subjective” ideas that we hold in our mind. And how they determine where life will lead us.

Subjective Ideas? What do you mean?

We have very few objective ideas. The vast majority of our ideas are subjective.

To understand what a subjective idea is, let’s first contrast it with an objective idea. An objective idea is one that holds true irrespective of the observer. The table in front of me exists. This is an objective idea (more or less). People all around the world, irrespective of their cultural background, would agree that this table exists. They may not call it a table. But, they will all agree that it exists. If we teleported an alien, it would also agree that some tableish thing exists.

On the other hand a subjective idea is something like: “Eating chicken is okay”. You might be a person who has eaten chicken all your life and then for you, it’s okay. Or you might be somebody whose religion says it’s morally bad. Or…. You get the point. Also, I have explained all this in detail in previous posts.

Character Is An Offspring Of Culture

I see our “character” as an amalgamation of all the subjective ideas we inherit from our culture. That gets combined with our genes and our tendencies and turns into our character. And that turns into our destiny.

And because of that, I say, “culture maketh a destiny”.

A New Subjective Belief

My goal with this essay is to infect your mind (but mainly mine) with a new subjective idea. One that might give you more happiness/pleasure/dopamine/joy.

I am watching a show called “Vikings” right now. The Vikings in that show (supposedly based on history) believe that if they die a glorious death in battle, their God Odin will notice them. And then, after death, they will be welcomed into the halls of Valhalla. Valhalla is some sort of heavenish place. The Vikings in the show truly believe this. The old vikings who have survived many years of battle without being killed consider themselves to be cursed.

They cannot just die in some silly way either. They have to die fearlessly. Killing their enemies till their last breath. Only then will Odin notice them. Only then do they reach Valhalla.

This is an example of a “subjective” idea. One that you might scoff at. One that you might think is insane. (While simultaneously holding on to your subjective ideas.)

But, never mind. Imagine if you truly believed this. Try to put yourself in their shoes. (If you are a woman and you are reading this, then do note that their women were also warriors called Shield Maidens.)

Have you adopted their subjective idea for just a moment? Great. Now let’s imagine that with your axe and shield, you have reached the shores of England. You get out of your ship and charge. You are killing the English soldiers left and right. And as you do so, you are hoping that Odin notices you. You don’t have a shred of fear. Why would you have fear? If you die, you will surely go to Valhalla. On the other hand if you fight like a coward Odin will surely not notice you. This is not some “subjective idea” to you. This is reality! This has been told to you since the day you were a child. This is what everybody around you believes.

Can you feel what it’s like to be a fearless Viking warrior?

Chit Bhi Meri, Pat Bhi Meri

There is a phrase in Hindi: “Chit bhi meri, pat bhi meri”. If you have not heard that one, you would have heard, “heads I win. tails you lose”.

To a Viking, there is no way in which he loses. He wins the battle and loots the riches. Or he dies in battle and reaches Valhalla. How I envy them and their subjective ideas! I wish I had one that was so perfect.

Well, I am going to offer you one. A modern one. Something that is very relevant to the current age. Something that does not require faith in Odin or any Gods.

Our World Of Cheap Dopamine

I have written about this before. In the modern capitalist world we live in, the cost of dopamine is plummeting.

(Dopamine is the happiness chemical in our brain. I don’t say happiness or joy or anything like that because most of these things boil down to dopamine.)

Cheap dopamine is the packet of chips. Cheap dopamine is binge-watching a show. Cheap dopamine is the endless novelty of Social Media apps. Businesses know that you are hardwired to crave dopamine. They are innovating constantly, trying to figure out how to drop the cost of dopamine.

It’s A Supply And Demand Problem

It is sad but, there is so much supply of cheap dopamine that our brains have become numb.

The unfortunate thing about our brain is that you cannot over supply it and get the same level of happiness out of it.

You know this from personal experience. The first slice of cake is amazing. Lots of dopamine. But, by the time you reach 10, you will want to vomit. It’s not like 10 slices, so 10x dopamine. I have talked about all this before.

But, every once in a while, something interesting happens where your mind gets a little dopamine starved. And then your brain regains its sensitivity to dopamine. In the starved state, the normal things that would not even register as a mild dopamine hit, start to feel ecstatic.

If you have ever fasted, you have experienced all of this. When you finally get to eat and taste your food after a long fast, the food is suddenly glorious. For those few moments you are in Valhalla. Nowadays, this is being called a “dopamine detox”.

And with that I come to my point. Pain is good. Starvation is good. None of these things really last (for fortunate people like me and most people I know). But, when they pass, and you go back to your normal way of being, you will be in Valhalla.

So, just like the Vikings, you get good food then great. And if you fast, then great. You are resetting that over supplied dopamine receptor in your brain. So embrace your pain. Welcome it. It is your path to Valhalla.

With that, you will have a subjective belief like the Vikings. And you are a winner no matter what happens.

Needless to say that all this is not really about food and starvation. It’s about everything in life.

Oh but Khoj, I have chronic pain. So don’t tell me pain is good.

Yes. I am sorry for you. This does not apply for you. I did not say that this was a universal, objective belief. Just a subjective one for privileged people like me. Still does not make it useless.

This subjective belief is only relevant when all your pains are “acute” and not “chronic”.

I am sorry you have chronic pain if you do.

If you do suffer from chronic pain, then you might find salvation in embracing your pain. Observing it. Getting to know it.

Buddha would tell you that if you do spend a lot of energy running away from it, then you suffer twice. Once in the pain. Second in the effort and anguish of running away from the pain. But, that is a whole other subject. So, will go into it another time.

Also, it is far too delicate a point to try to make in the last paragraph of an essay.